Archive: Anti-Jokes - totse.com community

I've been reading the TOTSE forum of late, and it's grown on me for a number reasons, specifically like the one in the link below.

Read it, treasure it, love it.

Archive: Anti-Jokes - totse.com community

Frontline Internet

I've always thought that the internet had much more to it than most people seem to rate. The communication you get on the various Bulletin Boards and Forums I frequent are one thing, but most Scottish Republicans, Nationalists or Socialists tend to regard the internet as either a free news tool or an electonic pamphlet.

Last week I was browsing the TOTSE Bulletin board, and came across a post about something called 'Neurocam.' The link to the website concerned was dead, so I trawled through the internet, intruiged about "dead drops" "clandestine activity" and other weird stuff. It was all rather 'Fight Club' and mysterious, and since my leg is dead I figured I check it out.

Briefly, Neurocam seemed to appear about one to two years ago on a billboard in Melbourne, where passers by were invited to "get out of your mind." Ordinary people signed up, seemed to be recruited as agents for the mysterious Neurocam firm going to dead drops, and otherwise acting as if they were in MI5. Whether or not it's part of a sub-genre of Role Playing on the Internet called "Alternative Reality Gaming" or whether it's an art project by some guy called Robert Hely remains to be seen. I'm not going to waste time figuring that one out. That's not my point.

My point is that it shows the internet for being much bigger a tool in social engineering than has otherwise been considered. Imagine I decided to do the same, and tried to take people "down the rabbit hole" in a similar way in order that I can push forward my own Republican Agenda in Scotland. I'd have a lot to gain, because I'd reach a section of the public who probably aren't that interested in politics or freedom.

Corporations have used this genre, ARG, to forward their own concerns. The BBC are doing it with Jamie Kane, a fictional ARG which is basically just a promotional tool. Other companies have used it to promote trading cards, blah blah blah.

It plays on a common subject in literature 'the willing suspension of disbelief'. The point of it all is that it COULD be real. And we have enough of that in Scotland for me to use it as a tool for pushing my beliefs in a way that hasn't been done before. Why merely hand out leaflets? Why cold call people in their homes who don't want to be contacted? The internet has shown itself to be a much more powerful tool than most politicos have otherwise considered.

Frontline Photography

This weekend has been a tad strange. As you can see from the rest of the Blog, I love my photography. I'm a regular at the Nationalist Rallies, and can usually be found clicking away at most of them somewhere.

So, this weekend was Stonehaven Wallace Day, run by Siol nan Gaidheal members. The fact I, uh, managed to turn up late is neither here nor there. When I got there, most of the party had already arrived at Dunottar Castle (a good three miles away from Stonehaven. I look down from a nearby cliff and catch all of them gathered at the bottom, near the entrance. I think, what a good photo opportunity. So, I take my picture, feel smug, put my camera back in my backpack and head off down to join them.

Which was when my leg plunged into a Post-hole, presumably the remains of a former fence. Now, if that wasn't painful enough, Stonehaven is a good three miles away from civilisation with a busted leg.

I managed to get myself some Codine from a comrade and got back for the after rally shindig. Big mistake. Codine works really well. Too well, in fact. Unbeknownst to myself, my leg was swelling till I couldn't tell if my knee was there or not, and was turning a shade that should only really be seen in Quentin Tarantino movies.

So, obviously, I found myself in casualty getting a bandage, a bored look and some painkillers from a Doctor and orders to stay inside for a couple of day.

Rattling Iran (ZNet Blog): "Rattling Iran"

Brilliant article which suggests that the "stories" circulating about an imminent attack on Iran are merely to destablise the Iranian Government.

After 30 Years, Draft Fears Rise

This is another interesting article documenting fears that increasing fears of attacks on Iran will cause a renewal of the draft in America.

How long before such fears take hold here in Scotland?

Foreign Policy: Think Again: Iran Good article regarding Iran from a Foreign Policy / Diplomatic perspective.

Sheridan: I don’t want to be British, I’m Scottish

SSP Research, Policy & Media Unit
Press Release: 12/08/05

Scottish Socialist Party MSP Tommy Sheridan today attacked the assault on multi-culturalism by “racists, Islamophobes and British chauvinists” and said that he would fail a British citizenship test being talked of for immigrants.

Tommy said that he specifically rejected any semblance of British identity; an identity which was dripping with the blood of the people enslaved by the British empire around the world and more recently with the blood of Iraqi’s slaughtered by Britain’s role in the invasion of Iraq.
Tommy accused Conservative politicians of making remarks that were identical to the language used by the National Front in the late 1970’s and more recently by the British National Party.

Tommy said;
“The past weeks have seen a tidal wave of British chauvinism, Islamophobia and racism descend on us, stirred up by the far right, the Conservative Party and, shamefully, from some liberal and left wing commentators,

“For Conservative shadow ministers to talk of deporting people who reject a British identity puts them in the same sewer as the far right neo Nazi’s like the BNP.

“Those who demand we all swear allegiance to a British identity had better prepare to deport every Scot who sees themselves as a republican.

“I want to see Britain broken up and the Crown made redundant, not swear allegiance to them.

“An independent Scottish socialist republic which banished poverty, obscene inequality and nuclear weapons would secure my allegiance.

“I consider Britain to be a blood-thirsty monster which spread it’s influence across the globe at the end of a bayonet and a canon.”

Freedom and a’ that

There is some weird stuff happening in Scotland right now… It’s strange, but it’s as if most of us freethinkers are the only humans left in Scotland. It’s either that or David Icke and the Wachowski Brothers are right, and we’re living in a computer generated universe.

For me, it all started way back when… back, back through time until the New Labour Government invaded Afghanistan. Yes, they were complete bastards. Yes, they were harbouring terrorists… but that was a sovereign nation and we invaded it with America. I dealt with. It was probably right. Didn’t want Labour, wanted the SSP or SNP, but fuck it…

When we got our Parliament, why was it I started thinking about Vichy France? I voted for it, but why did marking both those “Yes”’s seem like I was signing away my soul. My heart told me yes, but my brain told me to spoil my ballot paper with something poetic and Gaelic and merely wait.

And then 9/11 happened and the American’s wanted revenge. I could even live with that. You can’t blow up tens of thousands of people and not expect a reaction.

Okay, fine I said. Let’s live with it. (and lets forget the various air bombings and covert operations here and there that were fuck all to do with Iraq). It was necessary and… and fuck me we’re in Iraq. There were WMDs, there weren’t WMDs, scientists were inexplicably committing suicide and I suddenly noticed that our terror laws had reverted to the bad old days of the IRA.

Right, fine, it’s just one of those coincidences, like attractive women wanting me to be their friends and nothing more and breaking my heart…

There just happened to be two bad bastards within a couple of years of each other. It means nothing. It’s just a coincidence.

However, I couldn’t stay silent for long, I had taken time off from Politics and a sabbatical for personal reasons. I had to write a book, I had to sort out my criminally negligent and unlucky love life… However, the real world wouldn’t go away, and I couldn’t stop. I became engaged again in politics. I had to, the invasion was wrong, it was clear.

So, I did my protesting, my photographing, my venting of spleen to anyone within a two mile radius who would listen. I merely got my protestations batted back at me with the soft, sultry words of Labour apologists: But at least they aren’t Tories.

But, slowly, covertly, almost innocently, we started to lose our freedoms bit by bit. ID cards was touted a fucking fantastic idea. Didn’t like it then, wasn’t even remotely convinced. And more, on, anti-freedom of speech bills masquerading as “religious hate” bills. Amendments to “investigatory powers.” Internment was no longer shameful, and this time we didn’t get to taunt Thatcher because of it’s use.

It continues, treason laws are being touted as if they were the next season of Big Brother or X-Factor; discrimination is being thrown about as if I had just seen a sign from a 1970s Whitechapel Pub that exclaimed “No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs.” Every newspaper wants to reassert it’s brutish Britishness and everyone who doesn’t is a traitor. Apparently, I’m a traitor. So be it.

Also, one of the truly most contemptible things is, no-one seems to care. They care enough to complain, but not enough to fight, not enough to vote. All rallies are meaningless. All peace is pointless. Where is the Red Army Faction or Actione Direct to blow away the cobwebs? Where is the Tartan Army? Where are the radicals now? The apologists for the left are happy with Placards and a piecemeal protest that merely, pointlessly, inevitably gain the least amount of headlines it’s possible to get.

I pointed out to a work colleague that the recent “Make Poverty History “ Rally in Edinburgh was easily eclipsed in America where 500,000 people went to a party devoted to the Motorcycle Harley Davidson. As a percentage of the population in Europe and North America, the balance isn’t even close. Europe has more people and apparently cares less about World Poverty than America does about a motorcycle.

I’ll leave you merely with a poem, and say nothing more.

The Tree of Liberty by Robert Burns
.
Heard ye o' the Tree o' France,
And wat ye what's the name o't?
Around it a' the patriots dance --
Weel Europe kens the fame o't!
It stands where ance the Bastile stood --
A prison built by kings, man,
When Superstition's hellish brood
Kept France in leading-strings, man.

Upo' this tree there grows sic fruit,
Its virtues a' can tell, man:
It raises man aboon the brute,
It mak's him ken himsel', man!
Gif ance the peasant taste a bit,
He's greater than a lord, man,
And wi' the beggar shares a mite
O' a' he can afford, man.

This fruit is worth a' Afric's wealth:
To comfort us 'twas sent, man:
To gie the sweetest blush o' health,
And mak us a' content, man!
It clears the een, it cheers the heart,
Mak's high and low guid friends, man,
And he wha acts the traitor's part,
It to perdition sends, man.

My blessings ay attend the chiel,
Wha pitied Gallia's slaves, man,
And staw a branch, spite o' the Deil,
Frae 'yont the western waves, man!
Fair Virtue water'd it wi' care,
And now she sees wi' pride, man,
How weel it buds and blossoms there,
Its branches spreading wide, man.

But vicious folk ay hate to see
The works o' Virtue thrive, man.
The courtly vermin's bann'd the tree,
And grat to see it thrive, man!
King Louis thought to cut it down,
When it was unco sma', man;
For this the watchman crack'd his crown,
Cut aff his head and a', man.

A wicked crew syne, on a time,
Did tak' a solemn aith, man,
It ne'er should flourish to its prime --
I wat they pledg'd their faith, man!
Awa they gaed wi' mock parade,
Like beagles hunting game, man,
But soon grew weary o' the trade,
And wish'd they'd been at hame, man.

Fair Freedom, standing by the tree,
Her sons did loudly ca', man.
She sang a sang o' Liberty,
Which pleas'd them ane and a', man.
By her inspir'd, the new-born race
Soon drew the avenging steel, man.
The hirelings ran - her foes gied chase,
And bang'd the despot weel, man.

Let Britain boast her hardy oak,
Her poplar, and her pine, man!
Auld Britain ance could crack her joke,
And o'er her neighbours shine, man!
But seek the forest round and round,
And soon 'twill be agreed, man,
That sic a tree can not be found
'Twixt London and the Tweed, man.

Without this tree alake this life
Is but a vale o' woes, man,
A scene o' sorrow mix'd wi' strife,
Nae real joys we know, man;
We labour soon, we labour late,
To feed the titled knave, man,
And a' the comfort we're to get,
Is that ayont the grave, man.

Wi' plenty o' sic trees, I trow,
The warld would live in peace, man.
The sword would help to mak' a plough,
The din o' war wad cease, man.
Like brethren in a common cause,
We'd on each other smile, man;
And equal rights and equal laws
Wad gladden every isle, man.

Wae worth the loon wha wadna eat
Sic halesome, dainty cheer, man!
I'd gie the shoon frae aff my feet,
To taste the fruit o't here, man!
Syne let us pray, Auld England may
Sure plant this far-famed tree, man;
And blythe we'll sing, and herald the day
That gives us liberty, man.

PRESS RELEASE FROM INDEPENDENCE FIRST

“The Campaign for a referendum on Scottish Independence.”

FROM: Joe Middleton (Press Officer)

Contact details: 0131 622 0049 (H) 0131 662 9292 (W) 07731690721 (M)

media@independence1st.com

TO: NEWSDESK, ALL PAPERS

START:

SCOTTISH GREENS BACK VOTE FOR INDEPENDENCE

A campaign for a referendum on independence for Scotland has received a major boost with official backing from the Scottish Greens.

Independence First, a cross-party group set up earlier this year, is calling for a yes or no referendum on whether Scotland should go it alone from the rest of the United Kingdom.

It has already been endorsed by former Scottish Socialist leader Tommy Sheridan and several Scottish National Party MSPs.

Now the Scottish Green Party, whose MSP's were amongst the first to pledge individual support for Independence First have now went a step further and officially pledged the party's full support for the campaign.

Organisers say the move reflects growing opinion in favour of independence. Recent polls have shown that independence is now the most popular constitutional option with close to a majority already expressing support for breaking up the UK.

They hope the Greens' official backing could act as a catalyst for further support. In a letter to Independence First, the Scottish Greens' co-convener, North East Scotland MSP Shiona Baird, said

: "This is a cause that the Scottish Green Party has long supported, and one of the reasons for our friendly separation from the English and Welsh Green Party was to campaign for a Scottish Parliament. Our vision is for independence for Scotland, when the people of Scotland choose it, as a part of a process of decentralisation and democratisation.

"We view independence as part of a process, not as an event or even as an end in itself. It is a process that will transfer power away from the remote and over-centralised state we live in at the moment into the hands of people and communities that are actually affected by the decisions.

"We applaud the commitment of Independence First to work on a cross-party basis, involving those from all parties and none.

"As a party that supports independence without being nationalist, we believe that the only way to take constitutional change forward is to work in this way."

Independence First appealed to people in other parties or none to join the campaign.

Press Officer Joe Middleton said: "Independence First is trying to achieve as broad a consensus as possible for independence. Under our plans, secondary issues like republicanism or EU membership would be left up to the people of Scotland after the initial objective of breaking up the UK through a straightforward yes or no referendum.

"This campaign has received considerable support since it was launched a few months ago and we hope other parties will follow the Greens in giving us official endorsement.

"We know there are people in all parties who support independence. We don't want people to give up their party affiliation, but to unite on this one issue."

Independence First was launched in March this year and has set up a website www.independence1st.com - to put its case to the public.

In a message of support, Mr Sheridan said the campaign deserved the support from all socialists and democrats alike.

He said: "My party's vision is of an independent socialist Scotland but we absolutely endorse and promote the right of citizens in Scotland to democratically decide now via a referendum if they wish an independent country."

SNP MSP Sandra White said: "I'm happy to get behind anything that advances the cause of Scottish independence. I definitely support this grass roots movement in their demand for a referendum on independence."