Saturday, June 30, 2007

Situation Critical....

I'm not going to lie to you... the recent upgrading of the terror threat level worries me. Not because we're going to die screaming like pigs in an abattoir but because our personal freedoms are at threat and because we seem to bay for blood manipulated by the media against the wrong people.

It seems that I should therefore stand as the accuser rather than the accused. Who is to blame for the recent bomb attacks in London and who caused the situation in Glasgow Airport. Who's to blame? You fucking are.

Yes, that's right. And as V said in the movie "V for Vendetta":

"I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense."
I saw a person I hold in high regard call for the expulsion of Muslims who believe in Sharia law from our wee bit hill and glen. Aye, we're scared, but should be become Nazi's in penance for our own crimes? We failed to stop our intervention in the American Imperialism which caused these problems... When we let airplanes stop at our airports to torture innocent people, should we hold SOMEONE ELSE accountable?

One of the bleakest artworks you can listen to is "The Holy Bible" by the Manic Street Preachers. I listen to it when I'm depressed. The main lyricist, Richey James Edwards, threw himself off a bridge by the time the Album was done and the band were touring. (Aye, I know he's been officially "missing" but I doubt he's out there, personally...) In it are horrors of genocide, anorexia, the holocaust, crime, prostitution and apparently socialists politics. The horror of the 1994 album could be the country we live in now.

And yet we want to blame someone else for it. You didn't vote or persuade your brothers and sisters nearly enough. Had you done so, you would have gotten the Independence we need to stop these horrible things happening.

But you CAN help. You can RESIST. This malevolence stems from USA imperialism. You can stop it. Not me, YOU. Don't go to McDonalds or Burger King. Don't buy the Newspapers. Shut down your shopping malls and go to local suppliers. If someone bitches about your local Asian corner shop, put them in hospital. Destroy the Capitalist banks. Make yourself truly independent of the system. Fight Racism. Fight Imperialism. Don't stand up and be Alex Salmond or wet Wendy Alexander. Stand up and be Calgacus. Stand up and be Rob Roy or William Wallace. Don't listen to the idiots who blame the wrong person, listen to yourself because deep down you know that the real enemy is lying to you through Rupert Murdoch's rags, and via the Daily Record.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Unicorn Bicycle

You can tell I couldn't think of a heading couldn't you? You're quite bright.

Anyway, to business. I couldn't think what to write. Was ALL out of ideas for blogging because of various creative things I'm doing and general laziness.

Two points: One, if you've linked to me, and haven't told me, please do so. I WILL link back. Mostly. If, for example you're a paisley co-DJ (or embra DJ) who's reading this, I will probably link back. I may have done, i've not checked. If you're a screaming nazi then chances are I'm going to pretend I've never read your website and go off and try and bit-torrent Blake's 7 again...

Secondly: who the hell navigated here using the phrase: "red light" blythswood glasgow? It came up on that mybloglog thing on the side. It's useful for seeing who comes and visits. Usually it either says "albannach tribal" or "kenny sheerin" or "funny family fortune answers" (no... really. People actually visit this site because of that). The Blythswood thing is because of my infrequent references to gonzo isn't it?

News... I should really say something other than this shouldn't i? Can't think of much. I did something today which means I officially ROCK. But I can't talk about it. Data protection. ho hum. You'll just have to trust my status in ROCKING and grown a smidge.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Are you interested in finding out the status of the novel?

Monday, June 11, 2007

Sack Kirsty Wark

http://www.petitiononline.com/by3w4rk/petition.html


This is the petition which, if successful, should help begin redressing the bias against the Pro-Independence Lobby. It comes after a hugely biased interview by chief Brownie Kirsty Wark.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Friday...

Okay. Friday. We liked Friday. Friday was most cool.

Firstly two incredible things happened. One: I got notification that my Novel was being sent to me in proof format. Secondly: my Kilt arrived and damnit... the feckin' thing fits.

Therefore, I'm now a published novelist with a Kilt. This, in most respects, makes me happy.

And then I went to a works night out. Various cools things happened at said night out, but the main problem was that some people seemed to get it into their heads that I was interested in work shinto.

Let me be clear on this: when fate conspires to meld Firefox with Alcohol at a "shindig" then he OFFICIALLY doesn't give a crap about work shinto. In fact, let me be the first to provide you with what the "official" position actually is.

1. Your work shinto has been officially labelled "blah blah"
2. Please write your "blah blah" on a sheet of A4 paper.
3. Fold your "blah blah" into an envelope.
4. Address your "blah blah" to "Blah Blah Administrator, 89 Blah Blah House, Blahblahtown, Govan, Glasgow, Scotland, G67 3BB"
5. Fanks very much.

Does that clear things up?

George Galloway

We've had a glorious text from a member of the Maryhill Mob. It involved a pisstake they made at George Galloway's expense... This is most cool. I've got a bit of audio I need to enhance, which I've emailed about here and there... If you're helpful in this dept email me. (kenny.sheerin@gmail.com)

Basically: George admitted to being a cunt and anti-Scottish. Kind of.

And, in response to the dude who suggested that I over mentioned a certain female name now and then: that is a scurrilous piece of factual accuracy which we'll discuss later. Hello to Karen, Claire and Sheila: work colleagues who claim to read this blog! (I fucking doubt it, but they can anonymously admit if they so wish...)

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Your Lulu Order Has Shipped

Your Lulu Order Has Shipped
===========================
Shipped on Thu, 07 Jun 2007

All items in your order have been shipped.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Picts Ya Bass!















The Roman Legions tried in vain,

The Saxon, aye, and Vikings came,

Nane o' them could us contain,

Heed this gentle warnin'. (Clann an Drummer and / or Trad.)

This is the insides of the newly built Cumbernauld Town Centre. This was shortly before my friend Alyson heard me shout (in a rather loud voice) "Picts Ya Bass."

First off, let me apologise for my John Sweeney-like (him of the Scientologist docu) break into tourettes. If it makes you feel better, no-one noticed (or cared). But this whole crappy Roman obsessions rips my knitting.

The Antonine Wall (which the shopping centre is named after) wasn't the border marker that Hadrian's Wall was. It had more men pass through it than your average brothel on "freebie day".

It also ignores those rather groovy painted Celts who gave numerous ninth-legion lampings to those nice men in the Red Frocks.

I think what pisses me off is that of all Scotland's enemies they didn't pick a decent one. Sure, Rome was all macho and a Hannibal-bashing and a-Jesus-Crucifying all over the rest of the world, but up here the built a few forts, built a shit wall and often retreated back to man the main one, which I'm guessing was named after Adrianus Molus a thirteen year old geek obsessed with some girl and her infection box.

If you're going to choose the other side, at least choose the English. They were much tougher and far more windswept and rugged. And eventually those bastards would produce Monty Python.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Jings Crivvens... help ma boab...

Like most people, I get that "Oh Jesus, what have I done?" moment on a Saturday or Sunday Morning. On one occasion it was a weekday morning and I had been sober for a month previously (but we'll quickly gloss over THAT incident...)

Anyway. Monday morning came and I was wondering why my bank balance was £40 under what it should have been. I didn't ministatment it like I probably should have, but ran through the events.

(...brief aside. The reason I didn't check my mini-statement was because I was reading a Derren Brown book and thought it's section on memory was so completely brilliant I would attempt to remember a line of Pictish and Scottish Kings going back to the start. Yes... it's geeky and stupid. But lets be frank: you're not reading this because I look good in speedos... currently I'm trying his techniques out and therefore avoiding anything that comes close to an aide memoire.)

Anyway, the missing £40 business. Nothing immediately came to mind until I was at an SRSM meeting on Sunday and got my usual ribbing for avoiding Kilts. This led me back to ebay (which I had signed up for drunk on Saturday night). This, in turn led me to the two (and only two) things I look up by choice on ebay: cameras and kilts.

In cameras I look for everything. Canons, Nikons, Leicas (drool), Hasselblads (megadrool)...

In kilts my tastes are very specific (and thus why I don't have one). I want a decent McNeill one. (cos of my gran).

Clearly though, through that rather desperate haze my judgement became impaired and I looked a "freedom tartan" kilt costing about £35 quid.

I could even remember the words that I used when I saw it. It was those words that have haunted me my whole life: "What's the worst that could happen?"

I don't even have a bloody sporran. There's a place in Barras I know for that. But can you wear kilts with trainers? I'll bloody have to. Fortunately the Siol prefer Black t-shirts to Prince Charlie jackets (which I'm sorry... make ordinary people look like waiters).

So there you have it... Scotland's worst kiltie ever... I'll be honest, in spite of my lost £40 quid I'm hoping it gets delayed in the post. Cheap kilt, cheaper sporran and converse trainers with black t? Whatcha think? [embarrassed]I guess it shows my priorities in life when the whole shebang costs less than my camera... [/embarrassed]

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Countdown 2

“I sort of felt sorry for the damn flies. They never hurt anybody. Even though they were supposed to carry disease, I never heard of anybody say he caught anything from a fly. My cousin gave two guys the clap and nobody ever whacked her with a newspaper.” Lenny Bruce – How to talk dirty and influence people.


1 - Welcome back online

How are you? Are you okay?

We have to get the technical stuff out of the way first; otherwise you might end up confused. You shouldn’t think I’m trying to patronise you, it’s just that someone around here needs help and it isn’t you, okay?

The reason you can’t remember your old pal Max is because you’ve had a slight accident. A rather monumental one, actually, I don’t mind admitting that. Mind you, it didn’t happen to me…

Most first chapters introduce one or all of the main characters: The first would be you. Fame at last! You are a legend! You are a god! You have had sex with all the people you have ever wanted, and felt warm and squishy in more than one dimension of reality.

That is the other point: you are not anything consequential where you are now. Nope. You are a nothing; zip; de nada; Count Zero of the Security-Guard Role Playing Club. Your ‘reality’ is so dull, so meaningless and so mind-wrenchingly pedantic it’s a surprise you’ve not actually committed suicide yet. Go and get that rope or those razor blades because it’s not getting any better.

I jest, READ ON...

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Chaos Theory

This is intesting, isn't it? Just a quick "what is this aboot?" Back in the WW1 there was an art movement, which I'm an admirer of, called Dadaism. This led to Surrealism (which I'm also a fan of). This vid is a homage from me... to them...

Google it.


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